How To Ask Out The Cashier? | Relationship Talk I have no idea if men in customer service experience this as well, but I know the men that I worked with almost never dealt with unwanted sexual attention from customers. OP here. A phone number may be voluntarily given later, but should be asked for by saying "hey, I'd like to stay in touch with you" and let her choose out of the variety of contact methods that exist today. My guess is that the OP is a man, simply because men (of all orientations) are more likely to hit on service employees than women are. Its be a nice pick me up for the day. The customer could respond in a perfectly reasonable manner after being turned down, but the employee will still be extremely nervous about the exchange. He also rips off an arm to use as a sword. To avoid this, try word-smithing your phrases carefully so that it does not sound too formal or robotic. Thanks, Ive definitely had guys mistake friendliness for flirting so I know what you mean. OP here, Im female and not crazy :). She was probably scared shitless. Ask yourself how well you actually know them. then nope. is it unprofessional to have hickeys at work? I cant tell you how many times a guy mistook my friendliness for flirting with him. Make sure everything is paid for, and walk away immediately after giving her that card. I worked at a coffee shop for a few years so awkward when people would hit on me. I spent time on holidays (and shopping) in Germany, I am familiar with how retail in Germany, in large cities, works. Im in the camp that thinks its OK to politely ask someone out even if theyre working, but obviously many other differ. Its very frustrating. I think as long as its very very casual (coffee date, maybe a museum) and said with a cheerful smile (and maybe a no pressure, I dont want to put you on the spot thrown in there) theres no real harm. I understand the situation, and if you really want to know her and you think the signs look good, then I suggest go for it. Of course, if their smoke break is in a back alley behind the supermarket this can't work (seeking her out there would constitute stalking). When I worked retail, a man who grabbed me from behind when I was alone in the store and I told him to get his hands off me. In Ohio, we have drive-thrus where you can literally drive through and buy beer, cigarettes, pop, etc. I had a long conversation with a nice guy at a mom-and-pop camera store, and I felt intrigued. Ugh, do you know how most men respond to being turned down? concert). JovanHuttonPulitzer #SaveAmericaFromSocialism on Twitter: MMmmm Chipotle. "I don't know and I don't care" or if she answers something like: "I love those cookies, I wish someone would invite me to eat them.". He came and then asked me on a date afterward. I see what youre getting at, but my experience in retail and food service was that everybody doing the latter still thinks theyre doing the former.. O_o Yeah, no. It seems pointless to overthink when the answer is either yes or no. I don't think it'll make her uncomfortable, but there's a finer way still. Feel really confused like if shes playing games with me. I ran into him one time outside of work and he talked to me most of the night while his girlfriend sat in the corner and pouted. This is bad enough in public, but its a bit worse if youre being put in that situation at work. Who, granted, recognized her because she was a regular, and they had a bit of teasing banter going on which maybe had an undertone of flirting? This is so uncomfortable to me. Well, the tricky thing about asking out someone in a customer service position is that their job requires them to be nice to you. Something that lets him know where youll be if he ever wanted to bump into you outside of a work environment. This was an attractive chick asking about his day, a little more than the usual perfunctory interaction. Um nope and nope. She went to Spain on vacation, bought a bunch of cheese, and casually mentioned it to him one day, saying, It might be fun for you to come over and try some of it with me.. (And even then it might simply have been bad timing: he got in a car accident, etc)(or, sadly, he may already have a GF). I think the difference was that while he complimented me plenty, it was never about my appearance or anything physical. Female Cashier Im married, so I definitely wasnt going to ask out the cute liquor store employee who likes the same kind of beer I like anyway. Since your hunch is that she does like you, all you really need to do is open a door. My suggestion is to not overthink this or make it overly complicated. Contact the financial institution that the cashiers check was issued from to find out if its valid. I have to say, I feel bad for the pressure being put on men for the whole asking someone out thing because that was the first and ONLY time I have ever asked a guy out and I got rejected. It is understandable how someone who works for an unreasonable manager or one who routinely sides with the customer could be concerned about what will happen when they turn that customer down. Making statements based on opinion; back them up with references or personal experience. In most smaller towns and villages the cashier or shopkeeper gets to know the local community through their role as shopkeeper or cashier. Could be Im old-fashioned, but I think asking somebody out can be different than hitting on somebody. Personally, Ive never really liked turning people down in any setting, probably because of my conditioning as a woman in this society, and it just gets weirder and more awkward when Im in customer service/dont upset the customer mode, even if that customer is normal and not some creepazoid that rings every alarm bell of every female on staff. I think the best thing to do is go in right before close and mention something like Ive been craving cheese fries from place super nearby I was going to go with my friend but they bailed. She could always change her answer or answer in a positive way to give you more information. The next time the store is slow and he rings you up when youre the only person in line have that piece of paper ready. It can end well! If only 1% of the population are creeps and you have 200 people come into your store each day, that means that you need to deal with 2 creeps every single day. I dealt with this just as much in a secretarial position as I did in retail. Thanks, I agree that being cool about it and reiterating that a refusal is fine is the way to go! Or cheese fries because my friend bailed. That context is something that men need to be aware of when deciding its ok to flirt with a woman in a particular situation-which I think is what you were getting at. Id have to look it up, but I think its actually prohibited at the gym I work at to ask out members. I was 19 and very naive when a customer a few years older asked me out. Can I just work in peace without having to hide from horny men? I felt like if something could prod him to say that, I must not have imagined it.). If you are really interested and you think this guy could be something really special then there is a gentle way to go about it. There would seem to be a paradox, in that lowering the cost of rejection for her increases your chances of success, but there really isn't a paradox. If she did say "no" or not respond, after that interaction as you continue to go to the market, just behave casually as you normally would and if you go through her line be polite and friendly but with no expectations. I always hope she'll be stocking shelves or something (so she would be a little more approachable) when I see her but she's either cashier or in back. It also means that you have to go out of your way to make them comfortable if they do say no (no signs of resentment or bitterness or other weirdness), because after all youdid take therisk of asking someone out in their place of work. Here, you're just leaving a breadcrumb trail. Yeah, I used to teach adults and I was asked out BY A STUDENT. How To Ask A Cashier Out? - Criminal Defense Lawyer Hollywood If I didnt think i would get tipped if I turned them down, I gave them a fake phone number and then smiled when they left me a whopping tip behind. Meeting someone at a party (or going to a movie, while were on the topic) are not especially good first dates when youre attempting to get to know someone better. Meet a friendly stranger in a very public, preferably bright lit space and, preferably surrounded by old friends and family. Its a very weird situation and I agree with you that I need to speak with him outside of work in order to figure out whats going on. You can guess empowered is too, but there's a third: ability. Plenty of wise advice already. I work at Barnes and Noble, and I am shocked at how often I get hit on/asked out. # Community Guidelines She called, and shortly after she was on my couch. A female cashier was unable to provide the return, though. A response that is far more common than a many guys seem to think. Try to engage her when you see her, but just minimally. There's this cute girl at a local shop that I visit every day. It made me question my behavior and be mad at myself for smiling a lot and just being casual and courteous. has the world just gotten that much more creepy? Try going into the store when it's not as busy. And I just want to get my paycheck and go home. And heres my story to support that: back in my retail days, I worked in a shop that primarily catered to women, and men coming in tended to get a bit of special attention since they were something of a rarity (and often needed a little extra help from the employees). Seriously. If he doesnt call/text then he isnt interested and you can leave it at that. I dont think its fair to ask people to voluntarily take on that risk at work when theres another approach that will neatly avoid that issue. 2) I would be told wow you actually play video games? while striking up a conversation trying to get the customer to reserve an upcoming title or subscribe to our magazine or whatever. But then even if she says yeah I have to find a way to get her my number quickly. So the power dynamic is not so different. The key difference was that he had been coming into my bookstore for at least 6 months and chit-chatting with me about stuff, usually books but other things as well, before asking me out. WebIf you're a regular, you can talk to her casually until she gets used to seeing you. NB They were both well into their 30s when they met. At all the boring customer service jobs Ive ever had, my co-workers and I flirted recreationally with customers and each other. but its great that you remained friendly. Nothing terribly overt but just talking, asking what I'm up to for the rest of the day and just seeming kind of excited to talk to me. Sadly due to lack of nametag I do not. Start with neutral topics (the weather is an evergreen) and see what her response is. Thanks fposte. in advance, prepare a little note and state to her what you have stated to us. Im assuming that some places have policies about this sort of thing but have no idea about the policies at this store. I worked in restaurants for years and later on in customer service and sales. Yes, retail employees get hit on a lot, but on the flip side, I always thought working retail was fun because I got to meet some cute guy customers. But, you know, its such a personal thing, asking someone out. I came here to drink milk and kick ass. Can anyone help me? If you really, and I mean really think she's interested (and I mean really, like not in your dreams) slip her a phone number and that's it. You should try it sometime. so if said gentleman wishes to run into you outside of work he would have a pretty good idea of how to do so. Inviting the person to a group thing seems way more comfortable than asking them on a date, in my opinion. But don't do it at her work.
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